Are singles online dating sites better for finding a spouse or a casual partner?

Started by Wyatt Garcia · ·6 replies ·Free Dating & Apps

#compare #hookup #general

Wyatt Garcia
Joined Jan 2024
329 posts
#1

an embarrassing amount of time of trying to work out singles online dating sites better for finding, because a friend talked me into it, and my view has shifted twice since.

What wore me down was that for ordinary users, the match queue quietly stops working after the first week.

Something worth knowing: which platform you picked gets the credit but the amount of detail in a bio does the work, although the platforms change constantly.

Suggesting a meeting inside two weeks got three actual meetings out of six weeks, which surprised me.

One honest account of first-hand detail on singles online dating sites better for finding beats ten listicles.

AubreyA
Joined Jun 2019
2,226 posts
#2

The detail that ruins it is that the search function rewards constant activity rather than genuine interest.

Cutting the match list right down made a bigger difference than switching platforms and nothing else came close once deciding where to spend the effort was the priority.

Applied to singles online dating sites better for finding, that means:

  • Let a stalled conversation go, because the alternative wastes weeks.
  • Stop apologising for wanting something specific, which matters most on short-term apps.
  • Never move money under any framing, particularly on short-term apps.
  • Put something concrete in the opener, which matters most on short-term apps.
  • Put something concrete in the opener, particularly on short-term apps.

Been running Datewander in parallel and there is no paywall on the basics.

CameronL
Joined Aug 2022
1,941 posts
#3

On short-term apps, how often you open the app has a bigger effect on how many replies you get in a week than the app's overall download figures.

The one change that worked was setting fixed hours for it — it made the whole thing feel less like admin.

Ellie Allen
Joined Jul 2022
2,949 posts
#4

Does that hold outside the big cities where deciding where to spend the effort is concerned?

In practice, when deciding where to spend the effort is the issue, how quickly you reply does more for the proportion of real accounts you see than the boost you paid for.

What nobody mentions is that the messaging limit collapses once you move outside a major city.

Take what is useful and leave the rest given how fast short-term apps change.

ZachW
Joined Dec 2023
2,056 posts
#5

Echoing this — @CameronL, the timing observation is the one I would emphasise.

What wore me down was that the search function quietly stops working after the first week.

Has that changed since the last update for ordinary users?

Hannah Lee
Joined Jun 2023
2,277 posts
#6

I'd frame that differently. @AubreyA, the remark about filters didn't hold for me.

In practice, how long you leave a conversation running explains more of whether anything reaches a first meeting than the number of photos you upload ever did, and the sample size here is basically one.

What nobody mentions is that the notification system makes it impossible to tell live accounts from dead ones.

For ordinary users, rewriting the opener got three actual meetings out of six weeks.

Adding Souldate to the list — sign-up is quick and the free tier is genuinely usable.

Wyatt Garcia
Joined Jan 2024
329 posts
#7

For what it is worth, whether the photos look like the same person counts for more than the number of photos you upload when it comes to singles online dating sites better for finding.

Not claiming this is universal if you're on short-term apps.

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