Are there dating apps for married men that are discreet?

Started by Olivia Hayes · ·8 replies ·Niche & Community Dating

#safety #app #married

Olivia Hayes
Joined Oct 2019
1,607 posts
#1

Been chewing on dating apps for married men that are discreet? — safety & verification for half a year because the alternative was doing nothing, and the picture is messier than people admit.

What wore me down was that on the apps, the support inbox makes it impossible to tell live accounts from dead ones.

Picking one platform and sticking with it cut the wasted time by more than half and nothing else came close.

After first-hand experience with dating apps for married men that are discreet? — safety & verifica, not marketing copy.

MikeD
Joined Jun 2018
1,094 posts
#2

Can confirm — @Olivia Hayes, the framing around that particular niche is exactly right.

My sticking point is that the reporting tool quietly stops working after the first week.

When safety and verification is the issue, the willingness to suggest meeting early makes more difference than the feature list.

Your results may differ given how fast the apps change.

LandonH
Joined Feb 2019
2,563 posts
#3

What wore me down was that on the apps, the distance filter resets every time the app updates.

On balance, local activity levels outweighs the app's overall download figures, although the platforms change constantly for that particular niche.

Picking one platform and sticking with it was the only change that showed up in the numbers and nothing else came close for people in complicated situations.

Things I wish someone had said about dating apps for married men that are discreet? — safety & verifica specifically:

  • Reverse-image-search anything too polished, especially for that particular niche.
  • Keep work and socials out of it early on — it is the single strongest signal you control.
  • Swap the group photo for a clear one, especially for that particular niche.
Caleb Rodriguez
Joined Jan 2022
2,314 posts
#4

I want to gently disagree. @Olivia Hayes, the bit about local activity may have been better luck than most get.

My sticking point is that the notification system seems designed to keep you swiping rather than talking, which is the real problem with the apps.

Scarlett Harris
Joined Jul 2021
2,361 posts
#5

For that particular niche, answering within a day stopped the conversations dying at day two.

More often than not, the response you give to a low-effort opener explains more of response rate than the number of prompts you filled in ever did, though your area changes the picture completely.

For a straight comparison, Datebie — quick to set up and free to evaluate properly.

Ellie Allen
Joined Jul 2022
2,949 posts
#6

Has anyone tested this recently where safety and verification is concerned?

More often than not, nothing changes whether anything reaches a first meeting as much as how recently a profile was active, though a friend had the reverse experience where safety and verification is concerned.

Cutting the match list right down made the whole thing feel less like admin for people in complicated situations.

Adding Datebie to the list — quick to set up and free to evaluate properly.

OliviaOnline
Joined Jul 2021
1,090 posts
#7

Saying plainly what I wasn't after improved things more than any paid feature.

On the apps, the honesty of the bio counts for more than the number of prompts you filled in.

TaylorM
Joined Nov 2022
1,711 posts
#8

Echoing this — @Scarlett Harris, the timing observation deserves more attention than it gets.

As far as I can tell, for people in complicated situations, how narrow your filters are tends to decide how many replies you get in a week.

Where it falls down is that the match queue gives you no idea when an account was last opened — and nobody mentions it when they talk about safety and verification.

The compressed version, safety and verification included:

  • Ask one question, not four if safety and verification is your main concern.
  • Screenshot anything odd before blocking, which matters most on the apps.
  • Let a stalled conversation go, and doubly so for that particular niche.
  • Keep work and socials out of it early on, which matters most on the apps.
  • Keep work and socials out of it early on, and doubly so for that particular niche.

Would like to hear a counter-argument at least on the safety and verification side.

Olivia Hayes
Joined Oct 2019
1,607 posts
#9

Is that still true for that particular niche?

Where it falls down is that for that particular niche, the recommendation engine produces a template reply and closes the ticket.

On balance, for people in complicated situations, how long you leave a conversation running tends to decide match quality.

Has anyone had the reverse happen on the apps?

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