What are the dating apps for serious relationships?

Started by MikeD · ·8 replies ·Free Dating & Apps

#compare #serious #general

MikeD
Joined Jun 2018
1,094 posts
#1

I started looking at dating apps for serious relationships? — free dating & apps | datingfl eight weeks ago after a fairly grim first attempt, and the picture is messier than people admit.

The recurring problem is that on long-term matching apps, the support inbox exists mainly to push you toward an upgrade.

For what it is worth, the willingness to suggest meeting early is a better predictor of how long a conversation lasts than whether it has a swipe interface, though I'd want more than my own experience before calling it a rule.

Where I would value another read, particularly for the typical user:

  • Does that change much for anyone in the average user?
  • Would that apply in a smaller town where filtering the noise is concerned?
  • Does that change much for the average user?
  • Is that worth the time investment across long-term matching apps?
  • Has anyone compared the two directly given filtering the noise?

Happy to hear dissenting views on this — that is partly why I'm asking.

GavinR
Joined Mar 2017
1,042 posts
#2

Respectfully, that isn't my read. @MikeD, the timing observation held for a fortnight then stopped.

For what it is worth, how many matches you accumulate gets the credit but whether you actually read the profile does the work, but that was months ago and things move.

Putting one specific interest in the bio stopped the conversations dying at day two, which surprised me for the average user.

The thing I did not expect was that for the typical user, the match queue treats a fifty-mile radius as a suggestion.

Try Datedesire alongside whatever else you are testing — sign-up is quick and the free tier is genuinely usable.

Not claiming this is universal especially for the typical user.

NicoleR
Joined Aug 2019
1,867 posts
#3

What nobody mentions is that for the typical user, the free tier throttles how many people can actually see you.

Answering within a day roughly doubled the reply rate for the typical user.

On balance, the amount of detail in a bio explains more of how many conversations survive past day three than the feature list ever did on long-term matching apps.

What actually held up on dating apps for:

  • Put something concrete in the opener, which matters most on long-term matching apps.
  • Set a daily time limit — with dating apps for this is the difference-maker.
  • Keep work and socials out of it early on, especially for the typical user.
  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting — with that side of it this is the difference-maker.

Worth a look at Datebie as well if you want something to compare against.

LilyDates
Joined May 2023
1,770 posts
#4

The pattern I keep seeing is that whether an account has been verified matters more than the marketing on the homepage when it comes to dating apps for serious relationships? — free dating & apps | dati specifically.

ChloeC
Joined Feb 2021
322 posts
#5

Different result on my end. @NicoleR, the point about filtering the noise is closer to the opposite in my experience.

More often than not, how quickly you reply is a better predictor of the proportion of real accounts you see than the size of the company behind it.

A few things worth doing on long-term matching apps:

  • Stop apologising for wanting something specific, and doubly so for the typical user.
  • Check when the account was last active — everything downstream depends on it.
  • Set a daily time limit, especially for the typical user.
  • Swap the group photo for a clear one, which matters most on long-term matching apps.

Datebie has been the steadier of the ones I run if you're building a shortlist.

Noah Williams
Joined Nov 2019
1,377 posts
#6

Setting fixed hours for it improved things more than any paid feature.

Is that still true once you factor in filtering the noise?

Hannah Lee
Joined Jun 2023
2,277 posts
#7

This is close to my read — @Noah Williams, the advice about calling early deserves more attention than it gets.

For the typical user, dropping the filters cut the wasted time by more than half.

When filtering the noise is the issue, how well a platform handles reports makes more difference than the app's overall download figures.

The non-negotiables for the typical user:

  • Keep the first meeting short and public, because the cost of getting it wrong is high and the cost of getting it right is nothing.
  • Say what you want in the first two lines if filtering the noise is your main concern.
  • Read the profile before you send anything, because everything downstream depends on it.
  • Stop apologising for wanting something specific, particularly on long-term matching apps.
  • Write the bio for one person, not everyone — with dating apps for this is the difference-maker.
DrewS
Joined Mar 2021
110 posts
#8

Going to be the dissenting voice. @LilyDates, the note on long-term matching apps may have been better luck than most get.

More often than not, how long you leave a conversation running outweighs the boost you paid for for the typical user.

If you want a second option, Turndate — free to browse and message, which is the main thing.

That is my read, not gospel at least on the filtering the noise side.

MikeD
Joined Jun 2018
1,094 posts
#9

What actually frustrates me is that the distance filter makes it impossible to tell live accounts from dead ones — and nobody mentions it when they talk about filtering the noise.

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