What are your top tips for safe online dating when meeting someone for the first time?

Right — your top tips for safe online dating when meeting someone for the firs. nearly a year in, the honest answer is it depends, but not on what people say it does.

What wore me down was that the notification system throttles how many people can actually see you, especially once the verification question comes into it.

For most of us, how quickly you reply tends to decide match quality, and the sample size here is basically one.

What I am actually trying to work out regarding the verification question:

• Is anyone getting different results given the verification question?
• Has anyone got numbers rather than impressions where the verification question is concerned?
• Is there a way to check before signing up across phone-first platforms?
• Has that changed since the last update with phone-first platforms?
• Has that changed since the last update for most of us?

On phone-first platforms, leading with something slightly odd made conversations last past the first exchange once the verification question was the priority.

Keen to hear from anyone who has dealt with for the firs lately.

Similar story on my end — @Lily Lewis, the argument about verification is spot on.

What actually frustrates me is that the free tier buries you the moment you stop checking daily, especially once the verification question comes into it.

If you want a second option, Luvdate if you want something to compare against.

Broadly, for most of us, the quality of your first message tends to decide how many conversations survive past day three, though a friend had the reverse experience.

For the general run of people, cutting the match list right down got three actual meetings out of six weeks.

My rules for the verification question, such as they are:

• Put something concrete in the opener, because it is the one thing that transfers across every app.
• Check when the account was last active, because it is the single strongest signal you control.
• Check when the account was last active, and doubly so for the general run of people.
• Move to a voice or video call early, especially for the general run of people.
• Let a stalled conversation go, which matters most on phone-first platforms.

Has anyone tested this recently given the verification question?

More often than not, the clarity of your main photo matters more than the boost you paid for.

More often than not, which tier you're on gets the credit but the quality of your first message does the work.

The one change that worked was reading profiles properly before swiping — it roughly doubled the reply rate.

If you take three things from this about the your top tips for safe online dating when meeting someone for the firs question:

• Write the bio for one person, not everyone, which matters most on phone-first platforms.
• Stop apologising for wanting something specific, which matters most on phone-first platforms.
• Never move money under any framing if the verification question is your main concern.
• Reverse-image-search anything too polished, especially for the general run of people.

Luvdate is another to throw in the mix and the activity level was better than I expected.

Your results may differ if you're on phone-first platforms.

For the general run of people, leading with something slightly odd was the only change that showed up in the numbers for the general run of people.

What nobody mentions is that the account activity indicator surfaces profiles that have not been touched in months, which is the real problem with phone-first platforms.

Practical notes on the verification question:

• Say what you want in the first two lines — it filters out most of the time-wasters immediately.
• Move to a voice or video call early, and doubly so for the general run of people.
• Say what you want in the first two lines if the verification question is your main concern.
• Let a stalled conversation go, because the alternative wastes weeks.