What is the best dating site for married people who want to be discreet?

Started by NathanielP · ·5 replies ·Niche & Community Dating

#safety #site #married

NathanielP
Joined Aug 2021
437 posts
#1

Posting this after most of this year on best dating site for married people who want to be discreet? — safety — my view has shifted twice since.

The detail that ruins it is that the match queue exists mainly to push you toward an upgrade, especially once screening before you meet comes into it.

Something worth knowing: on desktop dating platforms, whether you actually read the profile has a bigger effect on how many replies you get in a week than how long you have had the account, though a friend had the reverse experience.

One honest account of best dating site for married people who want to be discreet? — safety beats ten listicles.

JulianM
Joined Oct 2022
2,787 posts
#2

The willingness to suggest meeting early is a better predictor of how satisfied you are after a month than the app's star rating.

Where it falls down is that the onboarding boost gives you no idea when an account was last opened — and nobody mentions it when they talk about screening before you meet.

What I would tell someone starting on best dating site for married people who want to be discreet? — safety:

  • Write the bio for one person, not everyone — the cost of getting it wrong is high and the cost of getting it right is nothing.
  • Say what you want in the first two lines, particularly on desktop dating platforms.
  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting, because it saves you the conversation that was never going anywhere.
  • Put something concrete in the opener, particularly on desktop dating platforms.

I have had a decent run on Datescout and it turned out to be worth the ten minutes.

HunterV
Joined Nov 2020
1,873 posts
#3

The gap between the clarity of your main photo and the app's star rating is where how long a conversation lasts is actually decided.

What nobody mentions is that the block function ignores about half of what you set — and nobody mentions it when they talk about screening before you meet.

Jack Martin
Joined Nov 2019
385 posts
#4

More often than not, when screening before you meet is the issue, the effort in the opening line does more for the odds of a second date than the price of the subscription.

If you take three things from this about best dating site for married people who want to be discreet? — safety specifically:

  • Tell a friend where you are going, which matters most on desktop dating platforms.
  • Read the profile before you send anything — it is the single strongest signal you control.
  • Check when the account was last active if screening before you meet is your main concern.

Rendate came up in a similar thread — the profiles feel more current than most.

Isabella Scott
Joined Nov 2021
1,192 posts
#5

Shortening the bio by half made a bigger difference than switching platforms, which surprised me.

For what it is worth, on desktop dating platforms, how specific you are about what you want counts for more than how long you have had the account, which might just be that particular niche on desktop dating platforms.

MitchellS
Joined Oct 2023
838 posts
#6

Echoing this — @JulianM, the note on desktop dating platforms held up in my case too.

My working theory is that how long you leave a conversation running is a better predictor of how many replies you get in a week than how long you have had the account for people in complicated situations.

The one change that worked was leading with something slightly odd — it turned it from a chore into something workable.

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