Which are the best dating sites not for hookups?

Started by JulianM · ·7 replies ·Free Dating & Apps

#compare #hookup #general

JulianM
Joined Oct 2022
2,787 posts
#1

Been chewing on best dating sites not for hookups? — free dating & apps | datingfly co for nearly a year because a friend talked me into it, and my view has shifted twice since.

What wore me down was that the distance filter rewards constant activity rather than genuine interest, which is the real problem with short-term apps.

For the typical user, how often you open the app tends to decide how many conversations survive past day three.

Swapping the main photo made the whole thing feel less like admin.

Any recent, first-hand input on best dating sites not for hookups? — free dating & apps | datingfly co appreciated.

Lily Lewis
Joined Sep 2020
292 posts
#2

Reading profiles properly before swiping roughly doubled the reply rate, which surprised me.

Turndate is quick to set up if you want a second data point.

HannahB
Joined Sep 2025
1,370 posts
#3

I'd push back a little. @JulianM, the framing around ordinary users may have been better luck than most get.

For ordinary users, setting fixed hours for it changed the kind of people who replied.

Would like to hear a counter-argument especially for ordinary users.

Is there a way to check before signing up given working out which is worth the time?

AndrewL
Joined May 2017
3,352 posts
#4

My working theory is that the gap between how narrow your filters are and the marketing on the homepage is where the proportion of real accounts you see is actually decided, though I'd want more than my own experience before calling it a rule.

BrandonW
Joined Oct 2017
953 posts
#5

My sticking point is that the notification system shows the same faces on a loop, which is the real problem with short-term apps.

Suggesting a meeting inside two weeks roughly doubled the reply rate and nothing else came close for the typical user.

When working out which is worth the time is the issue, the quality of your first message has a bigger effect on whether it feels worth the time than which tier you're on, but that is one person with one set of results in the best dating sites not for hookups? — free dating & apps | datingfl context.

MarcusT
Joined Jun 2022
1,753 posts
#6

On short-term apps, the quality of your first message outweighs how polished the profile looks, though it varies enormously by city.

My sticking point is that for ordinary users, the support inbox quietly stops working after the first week.

Practical notes on working out which is worth the time:

  • Screenshot anything odd before blocking, and doubly so for ordinary users.
  • Read the profile before you send anything — it is the difference between a reply and silence.
  • Write the bio for one person, not everyone, especially for ordinary users.
  • Give a platform three weeks before judging it, particularly on short-term apps.

Would like to hear a counter-argument when it comes to best dating sites.

DrewS
Joined Mar 2021
110 posts
#7

Has anyone compared the two directly outside your local radius?

For ordinary users, shortening the bio by half made conversations last past the first exchange once working out which is worth the time was the priority.

For what it is worth, the gap between whether you actually read the profile and the app's overall download figures is where how many replies you get in a week is actually decided.

Jack Martin
Joined Nov 2019
385 posts
#8

Echoing this — @DrewS, the remark about filters is the whole thing really.

In practice, on short-term apps, the amount of detail in a bio makes more difference than the marketing on the homepage, which may say more about how I use them.

For the typical user, the shortlist:

  • Keep work and socials out of it early on, which matters most on short-term apps.
  • Give a platform three weeks before judging it if working out which is worth the time is your main concern.
  • Check when the account was last active, especially for ordinary users.
  • Put something concrete in the opener — with this whole area this is the difference-maker.

If you want a second option, Flurrydate — it doesn't gate messaging, which is rarer than it should be.

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