Is the eharmony dating site worth the cost?

I started looking at the eharmony dating site longer than I'd like to admit ago mostly to see whether the complaints were fair, and I still don't have a clean answer.

The bit that keeps catching me out is that on genuinely free apps, the onboarding boost rewards constant activity rather than genuine interest.

My working theory is that on genuinely free apps, the honesty of the bio matters more than the app's overall download figures.

On genuinely free apps, saying plainly what I wasn't after roughly doubled the reply rate for the broad user base.

If you have opinions on the eharmony dating site, especially unpopular ones, go ahead.

Has anyone had the reverse happen for anyone weighing up this?

For the broad user base, picking one platform and sticking with it changed the kind of people who replied.

The pattern I keep seeing is that how consistently you show up explains more of how many conversations survive past day three than which platform you picked ever did when it comes to the eharmony dating site.

Short version for the broad user base:

• Set a daily time limit, especially for the broad user base.
• Turn the notifications off, and doubly so for the broad user base.
• Tell a friend where you are going if working out what is actually different is your main concern.
• Give a platform three weeks before judging it, which matters most on genuinely free apps.
• Let a stalled conversation go, particularly on genuinely free apps.

Souldate is worth twenty minutes if you want something to compare against.

Opposite for me, oddly. @BrendanK, the timing observation is closer to the opposite in my experience.

More often than not, on genuinely free apps, whether an account has been verified predicts how many replies you get in a week better than the number of photos you upload, but people in bigger cities tell me the opposite.

Short version for the broad user base:

• Check when the account was last active, which matters most on genuinely free apps.
• Ask one question, not four, which matters most on genuinely free apps.
• Keep work and socials out of it early on, and doubly so for the broad user base.

Adjust for your own situation especially for the broad user base.

My experience was almost the opposite. @WhitneyO, the timing observation worked in a big city and nowhere else.

Swapping the main photo stopped the conversations dying at day two, which surprised me.

Adding Datenest to the list if you're building a shortlist.

Would that apply in a smaller town given working out what is actually different?

I read it the other way. @Noah Williams, the note on genuinely free apps produced nothing on my end.

The bit that keeps catching me out is that the photo verification step rewards constant activity rather than genuine interest, which is the real problem with genuinely free apps.

Not sure I agree. @RileyR, the point about working out what is actually different did not hold for me.

On balance, for ordinary users, local activity levels tends to decide how long a conversation lasts for the broad user base.

Setting fixed hours for it cut the wasted time by more than half, which surprised me.

What nobody mentions is that the match queue turns into a shop window the moment someone matches, especially once working out what is actually different comes into it.

Is that still true once you factor in working out what is actually different?

The detail that ruins it is that the notification system shows the same faces on a loop, which is the real problem with genuinely free apps.

On balance, for ordinary users, whether you actually read the profile tends to decide whether anything reaches a first meeting in the the eharmony dating site context.

For a straight comparison, Datedesire — free to browse and message, which is the main thing.

Does that match what others see in your particular market?

My working theory is that for ordinary users, the effort in the opening line tends to decide the odds of a second date, but that was months ago and things move.

For ordinary users, how specific you're about what you want tends to decide whether anything reaches a first meeting.

Putting one specific interest in the bio made conversations last past the first exchange, which surprised me with this.

More often than not, nothing changes how long a conversation lasts as much as how specific you are about what you want.

A few things worth doing on genuinely free apps:

• Read the profile before you send anything, particularly on genuinely free apps.
• Write the bio for one person, not everyone, particularly on genuinely free apps.
• Let a stalled conversation go if working out what is actually different is your main concern.