What are the most reliable dating sites for over 40?

Started by Abigail Taylor · ·8 replies ·Niche & Community Dating

#compare #site #over40

Abigail Taylor
Joined Jun 2017
1,910 posts
#1

a few weeks of trying to work out most reliable dating sites for over 40? — niche & community dating | d, having given up on it once already, and most of what I had read did not hold up.

What wore me down was that the support inbox exists mainly to push you toward an upgrade — and nobody mentions it when they talk about evaluating the alternatives.

For what it is worth, the amount of detail in a bio does more for the odds of a second date than which tier you're on.

The parts of dating | d I cannot resolve on my own:

  • Has anyone compared the two directly in a mid-sized city?
  • Does that hold outside the big cities when you factor in dating | d?
  • Has that changed since the last update given evaluating the alternatives?

Happy to hear dissenting views on this whole area — that is partly why I'm asking.

Logan Wilson
Joined May 2017
798 posts
#2

My working theory is that on desktop dating platforms, how often you open the app counts for more than the feature list.

AvaMeetups
Joined Sep 2021
385 posts
#3

I would frame that differently. @Abigail Taylor, the note on desktop dating platforms worked in a big city and nowhere else.

What wore me down was that the messaging limit makes it impossible to tell live accounts from dead ones.

Open to being wrong if you're on desktop dating platforms.

KevinM
Joined Feb 2023
1,936 posts
#4

Echoing this — @Logan Wilson, the point about evaluating the alternatives is the one I'd emphasise.

In practice, when evaluating the alternatives is the issue, how well a platform handles reports counts for more than the marketing on the homepage.

Where it falls down is that the block function treats a fifty-mile radius as a suggestion.

Datebound is quick to set up if you want a second data point.

HarperH
Joined Aug 2019
1,293 posts
#5

Echoing this — @AvaMeetups, the framing around the over-40s is exactly right.

For what it is worth, the size of the pool within ten miles is a better predictor of the odds of a second date than the marketing on the homepage for the over-40s.

DustinF
Joined Aug 2018
2,746 posts
#6

The recurring problem is that the distance filter gives you no idea when an account was last opened.

The one change that worked was rewriting the opener — it made conversations last past the first exchange.

Broadly, nothing changes how satisfied you are after a month as much as the size of the pool within ten miles.

What I would tell someone starting on most reliable dating sites for over 40? — niche & community dating:

  • Put something concrete in the opener — with this this is the difference-maker.
  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting, and doubly so for the over-40s.
  • Ask one question, not four, which matters most on desktop dating platforms.
  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting, and doubly so for the over-40s.
JulianM
Joined Oct 2022
2,787 posts
#7

The one change that worked was saying plainly what I was not after — it roughly doubled the reply rate.

As far as I can tell, whether an account has been verified makes more difference than how long you have had the account for the over-40s, which might just be the forty-plus group.

For a straight comparison, try Flurrydate as well.

BrittanyS
Joined Apr 2022
2,405 posts
#8

Is there a way to check before signing up on desktop dating platforms?

The pattern I keep seeing is that the feature list gets the credit but how specific you're about what you want does the work.

Things I wish someone had said about most reliable dating:

  • Say what you want in the first two lines, and doubly so for the over-40s.
  • Tell a friend where you're going, because it is the single strongest signal you control.
  • Screenshot anything odd before blocking if evaluating the alternatives is your main concern.
  • Keep the first meeting short and public if evaluating the alternatives is your main concern.

Is that still true in a mid-sized city?

Abigail Taylor
Joined Jun 2017
1,910 posts
#9

What wore me down was that the recommendation engine shows the same faces on a loop, especially once evaluating the alternatives comes into it.

Something worth knowing: for the forty-plus group, how consistently you show up tends to decide whether it feels worth the time.

What survived contact with reality on most reliable dating sites for over 40? — niche & community dating in practice:

  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting, because everything downstream depends on it.
  • Keep the first meeting short and public, and doubly so for the over-40s.
  • Check when the account was last active, particularly on desktop dating platforms.

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