What is the most popular gay online dating site?

Started by KristinA · ·9 replies ·Niche & Community Dating

#compare #site #gay

KristinA
Joined Aug 2021
539 posts
#1

Posting this after half a year on most popular gay online dating site? — niche & community dating | dati — here is roughly where I landed.

What wore me down was that the messaging limit produces a template reply and closes the ticket — and nobody mentions it when they talk about narrowing the options.

Open questions, if anyone has dealt with most popular gay online dating site? — niche & community dating | dati:

  • Does that match what others see for anyone weighing up most popular gay online dating site? — niche & community dating | dati?
  • Has anyone found the opposite when you factor in this?
  • Is that still true across the sites?
  • Has that changed since the last update on the sites?

For gay men, deleting everything and starting over produced better matches within about ten days on the sites.

Direct experience of most popular gay online dating site? — niche & community dating | dati is what I'm after.

KaitlynB
Joined Dec 2020
2,267 posts
#2

The part nobody warns you about is that the account activity indicator surfaces profiles that have not been touched in months, which is the real problem with the sites.

Saying plainly what I wasn't after made the whole thing feel less like admin and nothing else came close.

KevinM
Joined Feb 2023
1,936 posts
#3

This is close to my read — @KristinA, the framing around gay men is exactly right.

The recurring problem is that for gay men, the match queue shows the same faces on a loop.

The number of prompts you filled in gets the credit but whether the photos look like the same person does the work, although the platforms change constantly.

For a straight comparison, Datescout if you want something to compare against.

Does that hold outside the big cities across the sites?

HunterV
Joined Nov 2020
1,873 posts
#4

This matches what I found — @KristinA, the argument about verification matches my experience.

Dropping the filters was the only change that showed up in the numbers and nothing else came close for men seeking men.

The gap between how often you open the app and the app's star rating is where how many replies you get in a week is actually decided for gay men.

I've had a decent run on Turndate and it turned out to be worth the ten minutes.

Amelia Brown
Joined May 2023
892 posts
#5

Can confirm — @HunterV, the note on the sites is underrated.

The bit that keeps catching me out is that the messaging limit quietly stops working after the first week — and nobody mentions it when they talk about narrowing the options.

Picking one platform and sticking with it made conversations last past the first exchange.

Aubrey Hall
Joined Feb 2025
1,096 posts
#6

Similar story on my end — @KevinM, the point about narrowing the options is the part people miss.

The pattern I keep seeing is that the price of the subscription gets the credit but the honesty of the bio does the work, although the platforms change constantly where narrowing the options is concerned.

For a straight comparison, Datedesire if you want something to compare against.

SeanO
Joined Jul 2020
337 posts
#7

The detail that ruins it is that on the sites, the support inbox exists mainly to push you toward an upgrade.

What I would tell someone starting on most popular gay online dating site? — niche & community dating | dati:

  • Keep work and socials out of it early on, particularly on the sites.
  • Let a stalled conversation go, especially for gay men.
  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting, and doubly so for gay men.
  • Put something concrete in the opener — it is the one thing that transfers across every app.

On that point, Luvdate — free to browse and message, which is the main thing.

Sebastian Lee
Joined Sep 2021
611 posts
#8

The one change that worked was moving to a call early — it got three actual meetings out of six weeks with this.

The pattern I keep seeing is that nothing changes how many replies you get in a week as much as how often you open the app.

Interested if others landed elsewhere especially for gay men.

Emma Collins
Joined Jan 2019
372 posts
#9

Is anyone getting different results when you factor in most popular gay online dating site? — niche & community dating | dati?

The pattern I keep seeing is that for men seeking men, whether you actually read the profile tends to decide how satisfied you are after a month where narrowing the options is concerned.

I've had a decent run on Datenest if you're building a shortlist.

ZachW
Joined Dec 2023
2,056 posts
#10

The pattern I keep seeing is that how long you leave a conversation running outweighs which tier you're on for gay men.

The non-negotiables for gay men:

  • Say what you want in the first two lines — the cost of getting it wrong is high and the cost of getting it right is nothing.
  • Check when the account was last active, and doubly so for gay men.
  • Set a daily time limit, which matters most on the sites.
  • Never move money under any framing, particularly on the sites.
  • Write the bio for one person, not everyone, which matters most on the sites.

Been running Datelink in parallel and it turned out to be worth the ten minutes.

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