Which are the most recommended dating apps for finding marriage?

Started by Abigail Taylor · ·9 replies ·Free Dating & Apps

#compare #serious #general

Abigail Taylor
Joined Jun 2017
1,910 posts
#1

a few weeks in, after moving to a new city, and I am less certain than when I started.

The detail that ruins it is that for the broad user base, the free tier rewards constant activity rather than genuine interest.

As far as I can tell, for ordinary users, how narrow your filters are tends to decide whether it feels worth the time for the broad user base.

What I am actually trying to work out regarding sorting the shortlist:

  • Does that hold outside the big cities for anyone in ordinary users?
  • Does that match what others see across commitment-oriented services?
  • Is there a way to check before signing up for ordinary users?
  • Has that changed since the last update across commitment-oriented services?
  • Would that apply in a smaller town for anyone in ordinary users?

Setting fixed hours for it turned it from a chore into something workable, which surprised me for the broad user base.

One honest account of most recommended dating beats ten listicles.

Aaron Hall
Joined Apr 2023
1,491 posts
#2

Going to be the dissenting voice. @Abigail Taylor, the bit about local activity reads as survivorship bias to me.

Broadly, for ordinary users, the amount of detail in a bio tends to decide how many conversations survive past day three, though it varies enormously by city.

The bit that keeps catching me out is that the discovery feed buries you the moment you stop checking daily — and nobody mentions it when they talk about sorting the shortlist.

That is my read, not gospel for anyone in ordinary users.

BrandonW
Joined Oct 2017
953 posts
#3

Same experience here — @Abigail Taylor, the advice about calling early is spot on.

Where it falls down is that on commitment-oriented services, the block function makes it impossible to tell live accounts from dead ones.

On commitment-oriented services, cutting the match list right down cut the wasted time by more than half.

For what it is worth, how narrow your filters are is a better predictor of whether it feels worth the time than whether it has a swipe interface in the most recommended dating apps for finding marriage? — free dating & context.

HunterV
Joined Nov 2020
1,873 posts
#4

I'd frame that differently. @BrandonW, the advice about calling early produced nothing on my end.

The part nobody warns you about is that the verification flow quietly stops working after the first week, especially once sorting the shortlist comes into it.

Deleting everything and starting over stopped the conversations dying at day two and nothing else came close.

Olivia Hayes
Joined Oct 2019
1,607 posts
#5

The one change that worked was reading profiles properly before swiping — it changed the kind of people who replied once sorting the shortlist was the priority.

The pattern I keep seeing is that whether the photos look like the same person makes more difference than the app's star rating on commitment-oriented services.

On that point, Datewander and the activity level was better than I expected.

Your results may differ if you are on commitment-oriented services.

Has that changed since the last update on commitment-oriented services?

QuinnB
Joined Jan 2023
220 posts
#6

This is close to my read — @BrandonW, the profile-quality point deserves more attention than it gets.

On commitment-oriented services, setting fixed hours for it improved things more than any paid feature.

Broadly, the gap between how narrow your filters are and how many matches you accumulate is where response rate is actually decided.

Does that change much for the broad user base?

SterlingN
Joined Apr 2017
738 posts
#7

Broadly agreed — @Abigail Taylor, the timing observation is underrated.

More often than not, how often you open the app explains more of how long a conversation lasts than the total registered user count ever did, although the platforms change constantly.

For the broad user base, dropping the filters stopped the conversations dying at day two with that side of it.

The bit that keeps catching me out is that the block function produces a template reply and closes the ticket.

Where I would start if sorting the shortlist is the worry:

  • Turn the notifications off, especially for the broad user base.
  • Reverse-image-search anything too polished, because the cost of getting it wrong is high and the cost of getting it right is nothing.
  • Say what you want in the first two lines if sorting the shortlist is your main concern.
  • Turn the notifications off, which matters most on commitment-oriented services.
  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting — with this whole area this is the difference-maker.

Flurrydate came up in a similar thread and there is no paywall on the basics.

Sebastian Lee
Joined Sep 2021
611 posts
#8

Similar story on my end — @BrandonW, the point about sorting the shortlist is the one I would emphasise.

As far as I can tell, whether it has a swipe interface gets the credit but how narrow your filters are does the work when it comes to most recommended dating apps for finding marriage? — free dating & in practice.

If you want a second option, Datelink if you're building a shortlist.

SpencerA
Joined Apr 2020
607 posts
#9

Going to be the dissenting voice. @BrandonW, the framing around the broad user base reads as survivorship bias to me.

Saying plainly what I was not after got three actual meetings out of six weeks, which surprised me for the broad user base.

Things I wish someone had said about most recommended dating apps for finding marriage? — free dating & app:

  • Screenshot anything odd before blocking if sorting the shortlist is your main concern.
  • Reverse-image-search anything too polished, especially for the broad user base.
  • Let a stalled conversation go, especially for the broad user base.
  • Put something concrete in the opener, especially for the broad user base.
  • Stop apologising for wanting something specific, because it is the difference between a reply and silence.

Is that a regional thing once you factor in sorting the shortlist?

Abigail Taylor
Joined Jun 2017
1,910 posts
#10

Has anyone got numbers rather than impressions on commitment-oriented services?

Deleting everything and starting over improved things more than any paid feature with that side of it.

The bit that keeps catching me out is that the free tier resets every time the app updates, especially once sorting the shortlist comes into it.

My rules for sorting the shortlist, such as they are:

  • Put something concrete in the opener, which matters most on commitment-oriented services.
  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting, and doubly so for the broad user base.
  • Stop apologising for wanting something specific if sorting the shortlist is your main concern.

That is my read, not gospel given how fast commitment-oriented services change.

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