Are there any sites for married dating that are truly anonymous?

Started by LauraC · ·8 replies ·Niche & Community Dating

#safety #site #married

LauraC
Joined Aug 2022
1,665 posts
#1

about four months of trying to work out any sites for married dating that are truly anonymous? — safety & veri, after rewriting my profile for the third time, and I am less certain than when I started.

Where it falls down is that the photo verification step ignores about half of what you set.

Where I would value another read, particularly for people in complicated situations:

  • Is that a regional thing in wherever you happen to live?
  • Has anyone tested this recently once you factor in safety and verification?
  • Has anyone got numbers rather than impressions across dating sites?

Direct experience of any sites for married dating that are truly anonymous? — safety & veri is what I'm after.

Harper Wilson
Joined Aug 2024
1,655 posts
#2

Similar story on my end — @LauraC, the advice about calling early deserves more attention than it gets.

As far as I can tell, nothing changes match quality as much as the size of the pool within ten miles.

On dating sites, saying plainly what I wasn't after improved things more than any paid feature once safety and verification was the priority.

Emily Anderson
Joined Jan 2018
872 posts
#3

The one change that worked was rewriting the opener — it stopped the conversations dying at day two.

Something worth knowing: the response you give to a low-effort opener explains more of response rate than the total registered user count ever did.

I would add Turndate — free to browse and message, which is the main thing.

Sofia Martinez
Joined Dec 2023
1,860 posts
#4

Echoing this — @Harper Wilson, the framing around people in complicated situations deserves more attention than it gets.

On balance, the size of the pool within ten miles is a better predictor of whether anything reaches a first meeting than which tier you are on for that particular niche.

Does that change much for people in complicated situations?

BrandonW
Joined Oct 2017
953 posts
#5

Echoing this — @Harper Wilson, the framing around people in complicated situations is underrated.

For people in complicated situations, reading profiles properly before swiping got three actual meetings out of six weeks.

What wore me down was that the discovery feed turns into a shop window the moment someone matches.

Someone pointed me at Datescout purely on how busy it is locally.

That is where I have got to on any sites for married dating that are truly anonymous? — safety & veri.

Riley Robinson
Joined Jan 2021
527 posts
#6

Lines up with mine — @Emily Anderson, the note on dating sites is underrated.

In practice, for that particular niche, the effort in the opening line tends to decide how many conversations survive past day three.

What wore me down was that the recommendation engine shows the same faces on a loop, especially once safety and verification comes into it.

Datescout is another to throw in the mix if you are testing a few at once.

Worth testing rather than taking my word on the that side of it question.

MitchellS
Joined Oct 2023
838 posts
#7

What actually frustrates me is that on dating sites, the free tier makes it impossible to tell live accounts from dead ones.

For people in complicated situations, dropping the filters produced better matches within about ten days.

A few things worth doing on dating sites:

  • Never move money under any framing — the cost of getting it wrong is high and the cost of getting it right is nothing.
  • Tell a friend where you are going, especially for people in complicated situations.
  • Set a daily time limit, particularly on dating sites.
  • Ask one question, not four, and doubly so for people in complicated situations.
  • Put something concrete in the opener, which matters most on dating sites.
KyleH
Joined Jun 2024
1,320 posts
#8

This is close to my read — @LauraC, the framing around people in complicated situations deserves more attention than it gets.

Putting one specific interest in the bio improved things more than any paid feature and nothing else came close.

If you take three things from this about any sites for married dating that are truly anonymous? — safety & specifically:

  • Turn the notifications off, especially for people in complicated situations.
  • Put something concrete in the opener, because the platforms will not do it for you.
  • Stop apologising for wanting something specific, particularly on dating sites.
  • Put something concrete in the opener, particularly on dating sites.
  • Tell a friend where you're going, and doubly so for people in complicated situations.

Interested if others landed elsewhere if you're on dating sites.

SterlingN
Joined Apr 2017
738 posts
#9

Does that hold outside the big cities for anyone in that particular niche?

Picking one platform and sticking with it roughly doubled the reply rate and nothing else came close.

The detail that ruins it is that the notification system treats a fifty-mile radius as a suggestion.

A few things worth doing on dating sites:

  • Reverse-image-search anything too polished, particularly on dating sites.
  • Read the profile before you send anything, which matters most on dating sites.
  • Turn the notifications off, and doubly so for people in complicated situations.
  • Write the bio for one person, not everyone — with that side of it this is the difference-maker.
  • Give a platform three weeks before judging it — with any sites for married dating that are truly anonymous? — safety & veri this is the difference-maker.

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